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The first properly warm week in May is when white jeans start calling to me, the kind of week where you can finally ditch tights and the pavement outside the chip shop is dry enough to risk sitting on a wall. They do nothing for grey drizzle. Save them for sunshine.
They are the wrong choice for anything involving rain, mud, red wine, or a toddler with a biscuit, which rules out an alarming number of normal Tuesdays. Cheap denim in white shows every seam of your underwear in bright light, so hold a pair up to a window before you buy, not under the shop's flattering lighting. Good quality white denim, the kind with a bit of weight to it, behaves far better over time than the thin stuff, which goes grey at the knees within a month no matter how carefully you wash it. Wash them separately, always, even from your whites, because a stray navy sock will ruin a whole summer's wear in one unlucky cycle. Skip the tumble dryer if you can, it seems to bake any faint mark in rather than lift it out, and a cool iron on the fold lines keeps the crease looking deliberate rather than slept in. Treat any mark the second it happens. Leave it till you get home and it has decided to live there permanently.
They earn their place from late spring through to the end of summer, on dry days, for the kind of plans where you are mostly standing around outdoors rather than crouching in a garden border. A barbecue, a seaside lunch, a wedding with a relaxed dress code, all good homes for them. Pair them with tan sandals or gold jewellery and they look expensive without being expensive. What they clash with is anything else trying to be the main event in white or cream, a top in a slightly different shade of white sits next to white denim like two people who turned up in the same outfit by accident and aren't thrilled about it. Heavy black knitwear on top makes the whole thing look like it is dressed for the wrong season, and dark tights underneath just look like a mistake nobody corrected in time.
If you only wear them a handful of times a summer, that is not a failure on your part, that is just what white jeans are for.
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