Claire’s Pick of the Best Balloon Sleeve Tops

One of us thinks a balloon sleeve top is the single most flattering thing you can put on a body that had cereal for dinner three nights this week. Another one of us has three of them shoved in the back of the closet because every single one made her look like she was smuggling a couple of dinner rolls under each arm. This has been going on for months and nobody’s budging, which is honestly the most accurate way I can describe this whole category.

I’m somewhere in the middle, which is its own kind of annoying, because it means I’ve bought four of these things trying to prove a point to myself and I only fully like one of them.

The eight a.m. mirror check is where these tops earn their keep. You put it on half asleep, the sleeve does something dramatic and a little theatrical, and you think, okay, I look like I have a plan today even though the plan is a 9am I’m dreading.

That’s the whole appeal. It’s a top that lies convincingly on your behalf before you’ve had coffee.

The five p.m. mirror check is a different animal entirely. By then the sleeve’s lost its shape, it’s gone a little limp and sort of hangs there like it gave up around lunch, and depending on the fabric you’re either fine or you look like you got caught in a light drizzle of disappointment. The fourteen dollar one I bought off a clearance rack did this by 1pm, not even five, and I wore it exactly twice before it went in the donate bag, so let the ledger show that one in the regret column, buy number six for the year, and I’m still annoyed about it.

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The one I actually reach for was twenty two dollars, a cotton blend with just enough structure that the sleeve holds its balloon rather than melting into a sad little poof by the afternoon meeting. I’ve worn it nine times, which puts it under two fifty a wear, and I did that math twice because the first time felt too good to be true.

Here’s my honest gamble admission, because I promised myself I’d stop pretending everything works on everyone. This top is a genuinely bad idea if you’ve got a lot going on up top already, the volume adds volume, it’s just physics, and I know at least one person who looks incredible in a fitted sleeve and slightly costume-y in this one. That’s not a flaw in the top. It’s just not for every body, and anyone telling you otherwise is selling you something.

So no, we haven’t settled it, and I don’t think we’re going to. Some of us will keep buying them. Some of us will keep donating them. I’ll be the one checking the mirror twice a day, still surprised either way.