Okay so my roommate and I had a whole standoff about this back in like March, she thinks a gold bodycon is the single most extra thing you can own and I said it’s basically a going out uniform, and we were about to actually fight about it in the kitchen when it just, stopped mattering, because the friend whose birthday it was for canceled the whole thing, food poisoning, no party, no dress needed by anyone, and we both just stood there holding our phones. Nobody won. The dress just sat in the bag for two more weeks and honestly that tells you something about the category too.
Here’s my actual case for it. Under literally any warm light, a good gold bodycon looks like a camera flash built into the fabric, you barely have to try for a photo, the dress is doing the lighting work for you. I wore one to a rooftop thing in June and every single picture from that night looks professionally lit and I did nothing, the dress did it.
That’s the whole appeal, it’s a cheat code for looking like you tried harder than you did.
Here’s the against case, and it’s not small. The bathroom situation is genuinely rough.
You Might Also Like
If it’s one piece with no zipper you are basically doing a full costume change every time nature calls, and I have stood in a bar stall at 1am doing what can only be described as a wrestling move to get back into a dress I was wearing twenty seconds ago. My friend texted the group chat mid event once, just, “trapped,” no context needed, we all knew exactly what kind of dress she was in.
The other thing nobody tells you, office lighting is not kind to this fabric. Under fluorescents it can go from liquid gold to genuinely looking like a costume shop found the last one on the rack, kind of dull, kind of cheap looking, even on a dress that wasn’t cheap at all. So this is strictly a night piece, do not let it anywhere near a 9am meeting, I learned that the slow way.
Money wise, I’d spend less on this specific dress than you think and more on literally anything that goes over it, a jacket, good shoes, because the dress is doing one job for four hours and the rest of your night is the accessories carrying it. Don’t blow the whole budget on the gold part.
Real talk though, this isn’t for everyone, if you’re not someone who wants every single head in the room to turn the second you walk in, skip it, there’s no subtle way to wear this, it’s a gamble dress and it knows it.
