I have had the same argument with myself for two summers running about the tall lace up gladiator, the ones that go almost to the knee, and it never actually gets settled by either side winning. One half of me thinks they are the most confident thing you can put on before a night out, better than heels because you can still run for a cab, better than a flat sandal because they read like you tried. The other half of me has watched a friend spend forty five minutes at a bar bathroom mirror rewrapping a lace that had slipped down to her ankle like a fallen sock, and thinks the whole category is a costume with extra steps. Neither of us has ever won that argument. What actually ends it, every single time, is the weather deciding for me before I do.
I found my current pair on a resale app at 9:40 on a Sunday night, which is exactly when I’ve decided the good stuff drops, don’t ask me for data, I don’t have any, I just believe it the way some people believe in a horoscope.
Checked the hardware weight and the stitching around the ankle strap before I even looked at the price, because a light buckle on a gladiator sandal is the first thing that tells you someone’s cutting a corner you can’t see in the photos. Refreshed the listing once out of pure nerves, saw it was still there, and I am not exaggerating when I say I said WAIT NO OUT LOUD in my kitchen before I’d even hit buy.
On a warm sidewalk they’re actually great, the flat sole means you’re not white knuckling a curb outside a bar at midnight, and there’s a specific kind of confidence to walking somewhere in these that heels never gave me, less performance, more like you’re just a person going somewhere.
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Where it falls apart is rain, and I mean immediately, the second the laces get wet they lose all their grip on the calf and start sliding down in that same slow humiliating way, so the whole tall dramatic version of this sandal turns into a low sad version of itself by the time you’re three blocks from home.
Last time out, the debate about whether the tall lace up pair was worth the trouble got resolved not because anyone gave in but because it started pouring at 1am and the entire argument became irrelevant, we were all just trying to get a cab and nobody cared what was on anyone’s feet anymore. I’ll say the honest part plainly, the tall lace up version is a gamble, it looks incredible on the right person’s leg and slightly like a Halloween costume on someone shorter, mine included some nights. I still buy them anyway.
