Last Tuesday morning, standing half-dressed in front of my closet at 7: 23am while my four-year-old banged on the bedroom door demanding chocolate chips for breakfast. Again. I realized I had a ridiculous problem.
I literally could not decide what to wear that day. I had preschool pickup, a grocery trip, coffee with a mom friend that I wanted to curry favor with, then I’d be back home for dinner and bedtime routines. But NOTHING was working.
Cue serious Mommy Meltdown™. Part way through pulling clothing articles over my head and trying to will something compliant onto the front of my dresser, I remembered something I’d read about Kate Middleton.
Not like deep googling into conspiracy theories about her research degree fun remembered.
Basic practical stuff. How do Duchess get away with always looking appropriate for wherever she happens to be? She visits a hospital for sick children wearing stuff that looks professional but not intimidating.
She attends state dinners wearing evening robes without looking like she’s trying to blend into the velvet drapes. And I can’t decide what to wear to Target without mentally spiraling. Over the last decade or so, I’ve become something of an armchair royal fashion expert.
HRH had always caught my interest but it became a bit of obsession when I started working in PR years ago and realized that all those stories about “rules” they have to follow? Most were made up by journalists who clearly have nothing better to do. Kate wears jeans ALL.
THE. TIME. She rocks up to casual events wearing sneakers and no tights.
Most of what they “need” to follow isn’t actual rules at all, it’s guidelines for how to look polished in any situation. Buuuuuuut… turns out those guidelines also apply to regular moms. I mentioned that while staring at my overstuffed closet I was overthinking my schedule for the day.
Workout gear + leggings did not feel conducive to mornings coffee with another mom. But a cute top and sweater would probably be too much if I was running errands by myself. And my “going out” clothes were excessively fancy for chasing my son around Story time.
STOP WHINING AND PICK AN OUTFIT, A WOMAN RULED OVER BY FOREIGN QUEENS YOU’D THINK I’D KNOW THIS BY NOW. But here’s the thing about how Kate dresses: It’s completely transparent. The Queen chooses an outfit for her granddaughter’s birthday.
What does exist is an acute awareness that clothes are communication. Every color choice, silhouette, and accessory is parsed for meaning. Kids’ birthday party?
Union Jack themed print. Visiting a hearing-impaired charity? Calls together to finalize Brexit plans?
Blue outfit to show support for her boss. Her style sends subtle messages all the time. She honors traditions but doesn’t seem slave to them.
Dresses in pink when visiting Armenia because the main tourist destination there is the Palace of Love (complete with gigantic pink heart-shaped tower). Supports British industry and ethical fashion brands wherever possible. At some point, I started shopping my own closet with all of this swirling around in my head.
Work meeting with my son’s teacher to discuss his behavioral problems at school? Instead of jeans and a random t-shirt I put some thought into how I wanted to present myself. dark wash jeans (they’re stretchy so I can still run around in the kiddie corner at pickup) with a fitted blazer in navy. Serious enough to command respect but not business-meeting formal.
Got some looks from other moms picking their kids up while wearing jeans, but hey. Did my son’s teacher notice my fashion calculation? Doubtful.
Did it make me feel like a more capable and put-together mom while discussing whether or not my kid should get special services? You betcha. Kate’s silhouette choices are almost as telling as her color choices.
She almost always wears something with a defined shape that also lets her move freely. Whenever I’m getting dressed I ask myself: can I run after my kids in this? Can I kneel down on the floor?
Sit on the ground? Answer: not really, if I wear these skinny jeans. Maybe, if I wear these pants with stretch!
Dresses mostly A-line or skirt flare, slim or straight-legged pants, blazers, and coats that have some shape to them but aren’t too clingy. This has become my parentingUniform™ for days when I have events at each of my kids’ schools plus a sitter meeting after work. Last month I ended up wearing that blazer three times.
To school events, to meet the teachers, to meet with my son’s therapist. Each time I paired it with something different so it felt new, but underneath that blazer I knew I’d be comfy and able to chase my children if needed. Bonus that it actually FIT me thanks to non-maternity-smuggled-in-seatbelt-indent fashion choices.
Closet cleanup time over break and realized I own nine black dresses. Nine black dresses that ALL get worn, maybe once. Meanwhile my most complimented item of clothing, a wrap midi from Madewell that I bought three years ago, is worn all the damn time.
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Same shirt, different earrings. Same shirt, swapping out the jacket for a vest. Same shirt, with every pair of jeans I own.
Shop with an overall strategy in mind, then mix and match within those parameters. She invests in quality pieces that she KNOWS will work for multiple occasions, then styles them in a variety of ways. Our entire lives revolve around clothes; why not make it work for us? !
Pair a designer coat with a Zara top. Wear & Other Stories for bridesmaid dresses and royal appearances. Rock those Superga sneakers wherever and whenever she dang well pleases.
Where to splurge, where to save. Statement earrings that were expensive, but now I’ll wear with t-shirts and jeans and casual dresses oh my doesn’t cost me anything? Free.
Pair it with cheap slides for summer or jeans and boots in the fall. Threw together a couple of color blocked outfits on days when I needed to look like an adult but didn’t have a ton of time. All blue Monday: jeans, chambray shirt, jean jacket.
All green Tuesday: dress, cardigan, flats. And holy shit did I feel put together for probably way less effort than I would’ve normally spent just “trying stuff on.” Kate always dresses WITH purpose. Never mind random; there’s always context for her outfit decisions.
She visits a soup kitchen? Functional but cute flats so she can stand/sit at a kid’s height while maintaining Majesty. Heads to a garden party?
Sketchy hilly terrain? Keds. After that epiphany in Starbucks I’ve become far more intentional about my accessories.
Duchess usually sticks to one statement piece per outfit. Crazy earrings? Keep the necklace simple.
Feathers and birds in your hair? Don’t overwhelm with blingy bangles. Wedding last weekend.
Rather than loading up on necklaces and earrings and dangly dangly things I scored with a pair of vintage pearl drop earrings from my mom and kept everything else simple. Tiny studs instead of drop earrings, simple chain necklace instead of chunky statement piece, one ring instead of three. Felt fancy as hell.
Wears clothes that work for what she needs to DO that day. Right down to making sure her hemlines are ankle-length when she’s going to be doing a lot of kneeling or walking. Changed the way I get dressed for pretty much anything now.
Have to drop off donuts at school and race back to work? Pants with yoga/stretchy fabric or skinny jeans that I CAN sit cross-legged down on the floor in. Client lunch where I have to get dolled up?
High heels that I can also walk quickly in. (Still haven’t mastered that part.) Sports an undeniable obsession with high-end handbags and shoes, because YES GIRL THANK YOU FOR MAKING US NORMAL PEOPLE WANT THOSE COUCHES. Don’t stress about things that don’t apply to your life. It’s amazing how quickly I forgot literally all my knowledge of royal clothing protocols when trying to get dressed each day.
Who cares about glove etiquette when I’m just running to the library? Bag-and-shoe matching is GAY. Scarlet in Middleton-land translates to stay away from matte lip colors for me.
Holy crap do I ever still have way more clothes than I need / want / can fit in my closet. But spending some time thinking about what I truly LOVE versus what’s just “nice” or “on sale” has helped me cull quite a bit. Kate spends untold dollars and Euros and WHATEVER currency on her wardrobe.
We mortals have to be a bit more judicious with our dollar bills. But that doesn’t mean we can’t approach shopping with the same intention. How often will I wear this?
Is it something I can wear for multiple occasions? Does it capture me at my personal best? Will it #makethrowwear.
Learning how to dress like a Duchess didn’t magically solve all my life’s problems.
Or even my clothing-related dilemmas. But taking even a fraction of what the royals do with how they dress and thinking about how I want to present myself HAS made me a happier sweater wear-er.
I used to get caught up in “what if I need to rush out and do X?” instead of thinking through outfits as I picked them. Learned what fits my body and works for my lifestyle instead of fighting against my post-kidshape. Don’t grab random junk just because it’s trendy or heck, cheap.
Focus on building a wardrobe that fits your life NOW: school drop-off, vacation pictures with the kids, the occasional adult-only outing. Not everything Meghan wears would work for the Midwest mothers I run into daily at school. Or how I want to dress, TBH.
But there’s definitely inspiration to be had in examining how the royal family dresses on a daily basis. So yeah. Moral of the story: Dress for your life.
Live your best Mommy wardrobe.
