Hi, I’m not a parent. Sorry if that came across badly but let’s get something straight. I hate kids.
And by hate I mean “struggle to keep alive” my house plants. And occasionally eat Weetabix for dinner. But I’ve fallen madly in love with school run fashion.
In fact: it could be argued that it’s the hardest style game out there. You see, there’s a primary school on my road.
And every morning, on my way to Pret (still in my pyjamas sometimes), I witness these amazing visions saunter past me: mothers and fathers attempting to look halfway-human whilst herding their little beasts to school.
So although I’m childfree, like most Londoners I watch school run fashion religiously. I have a special hate-envy soft spot for dads who turn up in fresher-ready Nandos shirts and Jonathan Van Ness haircuts. How?HOW? !
Thing is: I have started noticing a formula to this seemingly impossible fashion situation. Friends with kids (hello again, Emma) send me pictures of themselves tackling the school run in what they’ve dubbed their “meltdown” outfits. Like this black joggers, oversized sweatshirt and Birkenstocks-esque slip ons combo Emma threw together post-rainmare.
My eyes literally popped out of my head. Black leggings aren’t usually my style, oversized jumpers even less so and sandals before October? Unforgivable.
But Emma still looked adorable. Which got me thinking: she must have figured something out. Parenthood changes you.
As anyone who has had children will tell you, your identity becomes a whirlwind. One minute you’re hanging Taylor Swift posters on your bedroom wall and watching The OC on repeat, the next you’re wearing stain resistant joggers and calling yourself “MUM” online. Everyone says your body won’t ever be the same.
But what about your clothes? School run fashion has to tick so many boxes. Practical?
Tick. Comfortable? Tick.
Somehow still allows you to feel like yourself and not a milktoast mummy clone? Huge tick. It’s socially acceptable to wear yoga pants and a hoodie whilst darting around after your mini-me(s).
But god forbid you run into an ex or that guy from your office that you keep forgetting moved onto the pumping floor. Clearly there is a skill to sporting stylish school run attire. Because let’s be real: the cutest, put-together parents aren’t wearing Chanel loafers and Valentino trenches.
They’ve mastered the art of looking like they tried while also being able to function. Allow me to school you. The coat is apparently everything.
Study for this taught me that coats must be machine washable at all costs. Kids are filthy creatures and can smell the vaguely sugary substance they just licked all over your coat in seconds. Emma discovered this the hard way with a velvet concoction blessed with what can only be described as a “Big Mac footprint” across the sleeve.
Enter: Seasalt. They do these AMAZING waterproof jackets in the most flattering colours that disguise stains better than black (I know, ask your mama).. They’re also mega Mum approved on the school run.
Emma recently took possession of the mustard yellow jacket and insists on washing it every week. They’re literally padded shoulders, am I right? Pair with some smart ankle boots or Chelsea boots (more on those later) and you’ve got yourself a winner.
Long shot but do you reckon those matching waterproof Fjällräven Kanken backpacks parents are forever rocking fit in your face wash too? Cause now I want one. Emma swears by her forest green one.
Move over kaftans, it’s jumpsuit summer. One piece, full outfit. Game changer.
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Trust me. Brands like Hush do these insanely comfy jersey numbers that stretch in every direction, with pockets big enough to feed your children with (literally pockets big enough to fit FOOD in). Emma bought herself three in different colours and says they’re lifesavers.
Wide-leg trousers with an elasticated waist are the t-shirt of mum life. Doesn’t everyone have a pair??! Fashion insider news for you: COS do these bad boys and they’re basically your favourite paperbag midi but behave themselves.
Throw on a striped shirt and you’ll have mastered that whole “French Mum Who Also Eats Cheese Late At Night” vibe I’m sure you’re going for. Pre-kids, stick them under a jacket and you’ve got yourself Sunday best. Speaking of striped shirts: Breton tops are a total given.
There’s something about those bold blue and white stripes that makes you feel like you’ve got this Motherhood gig on lockdown. Invest in the Saint James ones, they’re meant to be leggings but dress them up with a pair of smart trousers and you’re onto a winner. Time for my cardio of the day, m’kay?
Ok, so trainers are a school run Mum MUST. But holy hell do they suffer. White ones are a dream.
Until your toddler decides to powerwalk through every muddy puddle in sight. Opt for Chelsea boots instead. They can be hosed down, no fuss with laces and go with literally everything.
Emma has worn a pair of Blundstone ones pretty much daily for the past three years and they still look brand spankin’ new. Despite also living through multiple world wars. Don’t even get me started on bags.
Carrying your week’s worth of diapers, a full water bottle, pup treats and still finding room for your belongings sounds like Olympian shit. Ever seen parents balancing 87 bags whilst clutching onto a child’s hand and their own coffee? Me too.
Hence the appeal of those ridiculous oversized Fjällräven Kanken backpacks. Yep, still them. Mom APPROVED.
But the trend I keep seeing on the school run that I’m actually obsessed with is dress over trousers. Sounds weird but trust. It’s brilliant.
Full coverage for those “miney mineys” as my niece would call them, but still gives off some kinda cute outfit vibe. H&M and Boden do some nice relaxed tunic style numbers that work over leggings or skinny jeans. Bonus points for dealing with the unpredictable British climate- chuck some layers on top, strip it off, whatever.
Parents seem to set their own mini-trends too. Like that outrageously red puffa jacket that was spotted on one mum near the school last week, is now owned by at least 10. Leopard print ankle boots were another one winter time.
If a mum CAN make it work, everyone and their mam will buy it. It’s clear that the clever cookie mums and dads have sussed out their uniform and don’t feel the need to keep up with every wild fashion trend. Some go bold with colour and clashing prints, some keep it minimal and monochrome.
But the one thing they all have in common? In-season, correct-fitting clothes. Cheers, breastfeeding.
Because as Emma said to me when we chatted about her school run style: “Taking 5 minutes the night before to decide what you’re going to wear saves you panicking at 7am when you realise your favourite jeans aren’t comfy post-breasts.” She cycles through a loose rotation of jumpsuit Monday, dress over trousers Tuesday etc.
Which takes the decision making out the door before you’ve even left it. I love that putting together a stylish school run outfit isn’t about rocking the trendiest jacket or latest knit cardigan.
It’s about finding yourself between staying practical, and looking and feeling like you. Us non-parent folk can definitely learn from that too. Whether you’re chasing children to school or just getting ready for work, we could all do with a bit of that magic formula.
School run fashion made me realise maybe we should all be dressing for life’s little surprises. For grabbing dogs heads out of our pockets. For dashing for the train.
For rainclouds that decide to spawn out of nowhere. Maybe “school run chic” isn’t specific to parenting after all. Maybe it’s just good fashion sense. 💕
