Okay so half of us think a Christmas sweater should be a one time wear per year, like a costume, and the other half think if you’re spending actual money on it, it needs to earn a second season or it’s not coming home with you. I am solidly in the second camp and I will die on this hill.
Sent a photo of last year’s sweater to the group chat, the one with the little intarsia dog in a Santa hat, and I got “okay this one’s actually cute” from one person and “you said that about the reindeer one too” from another, which, fair, because the reindeer one lasted exactly one Zoom call before it got demoted to pajama duty. That’s the thing nobody warns you about, the graveyard of Christmas sweaters that looked incredible for the four seconds you filmed yourself in them and then never got touched again.
The one I’m actually wearing this year is a cream cardigan style with a subtle little snowflake pattern, nothing screaming at you, and I’ve worn it FIVE times already since the weather turned, which for me is basically a personal record for a holiday piece. It photographs soft and cozy on camera which matters more to me than I’d like to admit, and it doesn’t do that thing where the knit looks great in the mirror and then completely flat on video, RIP to the green one from two years ago that did exactly that.
I did buy a gamble this year too, not gonna pretend I didn’t. Bright red, chunky, giant bells actually sewn onto the front that jingle when you walk, and I love it and I also fully understand it is not for everyone, it is for the person who wants to be the loud one at the party, not the person trying to blend into a nice dinner. Wore it once, got a single skull emoji and zero words back in the chat, which honestly felt correct, that sweater knows exactly what it is.
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The one that got dropped without ceremony was last year’s supposed favorite, a red and white striped thing I was CONVINCED I’d wear constantly, wore it twice, itchy at the collar, donation pile by January, no eulogy, no goodbye post.
So here’s where I’ve landed. Buy the loud one if you want the loud one, just know what you’re signing up for. But the sweater that actually earns its spot is the one you’d wear on a random Tuesday errand run, not just the one that looks perfect for four seconds of footage before you take it off and never think about it again.
