Okay so beige is having a whole moment right now and I fully bought in, I own four beige a line dresses currently and I’ve donated two more, so six total, which is a number I did not expect to say out loud but here we are.
The one I keep reaching for is the one I almost didn’t buy because in the dressing room it looked like a tablecloth. Under those horrible yellow store lights it read almost gray, kind of sad, kind of like a rental car. Got it home, wore it outside for approximately ninety seconds and it turned into this warm, soft, actual beige, the good kind, the kind that makes your skin look like you slept eight hours when you did not. That gap between how a beige dress reads under bad lighting versus daylight is honestly the whole category’s personality. I’ve learned to just buy it in the dress and photograph it in the sun before I decide anything.
Former favorite, RIP, no ceremony: a stiffer a line one I wore exactly once to a rehearsal dinner and then it sat in my closet for eight months looking at me. It photographed incredible, I posted it, got a flood of fire emojis in the group chat, and then in person it did this thing where it just stood away from my body like it had its own opinions about where I was going. One night wonder. Donated. No regrets, but also no refund, RIP twenty two dollars I guess.
Here’s the thing we’ve never actually agreed on though, and it only comes up when someone tries on the ones with the exposed back seam, because half the girls I shop with think a visible seam down the back of a beige dress looks intentional, almost couture-ish, and the other half think it just looks unfinished, like the dress gave up.
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I land somewhere in the middle depending on the dress, which is not a helpful opinion, I know.
My current one gets worn twice a week minimum, which for me is basically a marriage, most things I buy get one outing and a guilty conscience. This one survived a full day of filming, a car nap, and me sitting on a curb eating a taco, and it came out looking fine, which is the actual bar now apparently.
I will say the boxier a line ones are a gamble. On my roommate it looks like she stepped out of an art gallery. On me it makes me look like I’m about to hand someone a name tag. Great dress, wrong body, I’ve made peace with it.
Beige is not safe the way everyone says it is, it’s just quiet until the lighting is wrong, then it tells you everything.
